Learning

I love to learn new things. But I am painfully slow to learn. I love to discover new things. But it takes me a while to discover them. I have never thought of myself as a slow learner but in view of what has been happening in my life over the past few months, I am have come to the conclusion that I am truly slow to learn. This is especially true when it comes to learning more about myself. It seems that when I find myself in certain situations, I know exactly what to do, what to say and how to act. But in other situations I am clueless. The catch is that I have pridefully always thought I know how best to act in all situations. This is just not true. And I have come to this painful realization very slowly.

There is no doubt that everyone makes mistakes. Though some mistakes produce tougher tolls than others. And sometimes mistakes effect one person, sometimes they effect many. But mistakes do something else as well. Something that I did not realize they would do until recently. They take a tremendous toll on ones self-confidence and self-worth. I would say that most of the time this loss of confidence happens without one even realizing it at the time. I know I did not or have not realized it until much later after the fact. And it is funny how loss of confidence paired with mistakes and slow learning can really take a heavy toll on someones life--it is a vicious cycle.

And so it is at this juncture you find out something very important about your life. You either move forward or stay put. I am coming to terms with the fact that learning is learning no matter how slow or fast its done. But I am also learning that learning doesn't have to be done alone. I have always been surrounded by great people I know and love and trust. But I have not always been open to listen to them--I mean really listen. I have tended to listen and accept only what is easier to accept. Again, I am slow learner. But I think I am learning none the less. More later.